Nineteenth Sunday Ordinary

Nineteenth Sunday Ordinary
August 7, 2005

"After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this,Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave." (I Kings 19: 9-13) When (Peter) saw how strong the wind was he became frightened; and... Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught Peter..." (Matthew 14:22-33)

Elijah, after looking elsewhere in more spectacular events, encounters the Most High in a subtle whispering sound alone with God on a holy mountain. Peter, frightened by a storm try to reach Jesus but loses his confidence and began to sink beneath the waves. Jesus reaches out his hand to reassure him. In both stories holy people are frightened and overwhelmed by the threat of annihilation by natural forces, or direct contact with God. When the storm passes they rediscover where God is really found, in trust and a quiet heart. God is not a threatening or destroying presence in either story but is most definitely an awesome force.

It seems that even our great heroes in the faith, people whom we presume were much closer to the Most High than we, had as much of a problem relying on God's strength and close proximity as we do. Both of them found respite in spite of doubts when God persisted in finding them. Peter in particular had a decided tendency to dissolve in fear and doubt. The prophet Elijah discovered God in an unexpected experience, apart from spectacular manifestations. Not much different than us. Maybe there was no golden age of "simple faith", except in our personal and corporate selective memories. Nevertheless, God seems to find a way to reestablish connection with us in spite of our tendency to panic when we think we have lost it.

Recently on successive nights I had dreams in which two good friends were close by. In the first I was threatened with attacks by stinging insects which finally only tickled my arms. In the second I was suspended helplessly, anticipating a lot of pain which never materialized. It occurred to me that these friends were my spiritual and physical protectors, sent by God to reassure me, just as so many other angels in human form on whom I have come to rely.. In both dreams threat and fear (the "storm" of debilitating illness) evaporates into security and confidence. I also notice that my fear of losing my voice has turned out to be somewhat premature. I'm still communicating quite normally. Could there be a connection? We insist on looking for proof that God is with us when it is often right before us with an outstretched hand. There is more than one way to experience the reality of divine presence, beyond looking for dramatic and supernatural events.